…He told me I should go to the gym more.

…We had a lovely first date and then he sent me insane texts all night, the last one being “you should come over and hang out with meeeeeeeeee” sent at 2am.

…He threw a football at my head at recess. (Yes, this was in fourth grade, but still! The shame!)

…He sent me a manifesto of how we should spend our mornings (with time slotted in for things like using the toilet).

…He constantly quoted that “O face” line from Office Space. In bed.

…He was cheating on his girlfriend.

…He was cheating on his fiancee.

…He was cheating on his wife.